Feeling miserable about losing to Georgia?
Depressed about going Oh-for-October?
Having a difficult time admitting that you are inspired by the words “Bowl Eligible” and that they actually imply achievement?
If this agony is too great and all expectations for 2011 are pretty much trashed, then reboot and sign up here for membership in the Florida Gator Wait ‘Til Next Year Club.
New memberships were made available for the first time in more than 30 years Saturday at 8 p.m. when it became evident that any hopes of a winning season in 2011 were about as likely as your 401K returning to its pre-2008 performance level, thanks to the 24-20 loss to the Bulldogs at Everbank Field.
After four losses and an epic four-game skid mark by these Gators big enough to wipe out an entire NASCAR field, it’s time to go back to the drawing board, abacus and calculator.
Six and six? Possible. Seven and five? Unlikely. Eight and four? Not going to happen. And worse yet, this season also has the potential of morphing into UF’s first losing record in 33 seasons.
What to do? Hang Will Muschamp in effigy? Declare Charlie Weis a bust and boo his graduate assistant son Charlie Jr. who whispered the plays in John Brantley’s helmet ear hole after getting them from his dad in the press box?
Or blame Urban Meyer, as one Orlando columnist keeps wanting to do?
Nah settle down — don’t get all lathered up. Remember those faithful words … “in all kinds of weather, we’ll all stick together.”
Come on it to the church of the Orange and Blue downtrodden. Put your arm around a Gator brother or sister and hum a little Kumbaya. Misery loves company and right now you can find plenty of that in the Gator Nation.
Go retro, you’ll find comfort in it.
Say hello to those who were cheering for the Gators B.S.S. (Before Steve Spurrier was coach.) Who know all too well the sting of defeat, and whose idea of a good season was seven or more wins and any kind of post-season anywhere was worth bragging about.
Back when such things as SEC Title and National Championship were mere mirages and not something Gator fans dare fantasize about.
Ask them about NCAA Probation and Fourth And Dumb, and losing 51-0 to Georgia in the rain. Insist they tell you about the days when they walked up Stadium Road barefooted in the snow, backwards, smiling all the way while the Gators of Bob Woodruff or Ray Graves or Doug Dickey were getting smote.
And dream the dreams of tomorrow – next year when your team once again becomes the apple of the Weed whacker Bowl scouts’ eyes.
Anybody can be an Alabama or LSU fan — it takes guts to be a Wait ‘Til Next Year Gator.
And look on the bright side: If it gets any worse, maybe ticket prices will start coming down.
On second thought, that’s a bigger fantasy than Muschamp’s 2012 Gators winning the BCS title.
Listen to Buddy Martin’s “Voice of Ocala” radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on 1370-AM and 96.7-FM WOCA, or WOCA.com